Change:
In childhood, while growing up, we acquire certain habits, some good some not so good. When we are grownup to face the real world, we encounter with some problems, some of them annoy us, some disturb us and some make us angry. Some time we feel that the other person is unfair, he does not understand the right thing, he is stupid, he is bad, he is uncultured etc. etc.
In an impartial third-party analysis, it is found that half the time, if not more than that, we are responsible for all the feeling we have, regarding the other person. He may be having the similar feeling about us.
This is the situation, in life of most of us, at most of the time. What is the solution?
There is only one solution; CHANGE.
Allow our parents and close friends to point out our short comings that need to be rectified. Once they do this, act on them. Now this is really difficult, because over years you have been doing these things, sometimes simply as habit, sometimes you derive satisfaction (without knowing) from doing so, and sometime your ego does not allow you to perceive the thing as wrong. These things get imbibed in your will. To go against the will is very difficult, and yet there is a way out.
Take only one thing that needs change, at a time. Make it mandatory for you to react in a changed manner, even if it hurts you momentarily. Carefully note the advantage that comes your way (it will come); after some days you will start enjoying your own changed attitude to a particular habit. After consolidating the change for one habit, take up another one. Second one will be slightly easy, as you have a methodology acquired during the first change.
Every person will have different types of annoying habits, but some well known are as under:
Interrupting someone while he is talking; not allowing him to complete his point.
Questioning the correctness of statement made by someone for no apparent reason.
Suggesting alternative solution to a problem, when the solution suggested by someone is good.
Talking on a subject of your liking, but your listener is not interested, and he has made it known to you on previous occasion.
Beating around the bush when not necessary. Come to the point in a simple way.
If someone asks you same question second time, do not get worked up. Tell him to be more attentive, but repeat the answer.
Knowledge and seniority are two different things. You may have more knowledge that does not give you a right to disregard seniority. Develop a polite way to bring your view point to the notice of your senior.
Do not have double standard, one rule for one person and another rule for another person, for the similar events.
Do not offer to help, unless someone asks for it. Some people are touchy and do not like if someone interferes with their own efforts.
Reciprocate. If someone has done something for you, try to do something for him whenever an opportunity arises.
There are several other things that may need a change, but even bringing change in few of the habits listed above will make a big difference in your life.
-P. K. Davda