Generation Gap (Old Parents & Grownup Children)

Generation Gap (Old Parents & Grownup Children)

The subject is very relevant to-day. The phrase “Generation gap” has been used since half a century, but the real impact is only felt now. The gap has widened and still continues to widen on account of several factors. The rapid pace of the progress, being made by the mankind, is fundamental reason. Each generation grows in a slightly different environment which impacts the generation of the era. After some tension and arguments, the change is accepted as norm and then it passes on to the next generation.

Changing pattern of education is one of the reasons that has made significant impact. Fifty years ago, the education was value based. While imparting knowledge, they used to integrate values to be followed in daily life, for example; “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” was taught while teaching English language. Lots of emphasis was laid on respecting your parents and your teacher. The present education is more knowledge based. They impart so much knowledge that there is hardly any scope left for the child to learn any other thing. Of course, they teach discipline-like walk in a Q, say “Good morning teacher” in Corus, etc.

The third most important thing is financial independence, when children are grownup. Earlier, they use to join the family business, which was normally controlled by the eldest member of the family. They hardly had any money in their hand which they can spend as per their desire. They had to take permission from someone if they wanted to spend some money. Now the picture is quite different. They have their own separate money, which they can spend the way they like.

The fourth most important factor is inter-cast & inter-racial marriages. Earlier, the marriages within the cast had an advantage that couples were aware of the customs of their own society, expectation of parents and other relatives and even family friends. Now, you cannot expect a girl coming from a different culture with different customs to know these things. She needs some time to settle down in new environment.

There are several other factors responsible for some sort of un-easy relationship between elderly parents and grownup children. For example, children have created their own image in their circle. They jealously guard that image. There may be a social occasion, when for a brief moment their parents are present, they become very tense. They worry, least their parents say something or do something which does not match with their image in their social circle.

One solution to reduce the tension is to loosely follow American Model. Once the children are grownup, their education is completed and they start earning; parents should move away from their day to day life. They should stop advising them, unless they ask for one. Stop bothering about how they spend their money, their relationship with their spouses or how they educate and raise their children. Once parents stop interfering in their day to day life, may be they will respect them more, and will have more understanding of their needs.

Since the readers of this blog are both, elderly parents and grownup children, the subject touches everyone’s life.   This is not one of the blog spot; we all are going through the experience, and perhaps looking for some solution. I wish, each one of you speak his/her mind. Please remember, a common problem needs a common solution.