Being attuned with your child, what ordinary moments do you share?

I believe most of us agree we need to spend quality time with kids.

But what is quality time?
What is more valuable – quality time or quantity time?

Does quality time means we need to spare additional time from our busy schedule? Thankfully not. It just calls in for being mentally present with the kids in all that you have been doing with them. Getting ready for school, dropping-picking them, having meals, or while doing your regular chores. Just avoid thinking of your work or taking phone calls, talk to them or nothing else simply observe them.

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Following are few lines I read in a message board and it inspired me to write about this topic.
Often my mind will drift to work or what I have to do around the house or a phone call I have to make. Doesn’t that sound familiar? I think it’s hard for most of us to focus on building a relationship out of simply being with our children instead of doing a physical activity with a child, or always being in a teaching mode with our children. For me, what helps is sitting and watching my children and be in the background of their play. It almost seems as if I am not doing anything but I am narrating in my mind what they are doing. “oh, Simon is picking up that book and trying to open it. Does he want to see a certain page?” That helps me engage with them on a level where I’m getting to know their personality, their choices, not in relation to a need I am fulfilling or a lesson I am teaching, but I’m in their world, at their pace.
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What ordinary moments do you share with your kids being fully present in that moment with them?

2 Comments:

  1. Before Niyom sleeps, either in afternoon or at night is my special time with him, meaning not doing anything much at such..we just talk verbally & open out. I talk to him about how I spent my day, & ask him the same. What made him happy, what did not… We talk about anything out there in the world, the topic comes up just naturally. That’s the time when I best get to know him & his thoughts!

    Quality time more than quantity is important in my view. It’s hard to do all this when my chores are undone. So I try my best that work, food, phones etc. are all done before hand so that my mind is free, otherwise I end up telling him, ‘play on your own for sometime plz..’

  2. I think with the advent of smart phones (iphone, blackberry, etc) its very easy to get distracted from kids even when you are with them. Being mentally present with kids is very important in this fast age.

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