The subject says it all. Why do we get angry? A philosophical googly this time. A definite sign of maturity is when a person learns to control their anger.
Some people are more skilled at being calm than others. What is their secret? Why do we get angry in the first place and how can we best try to calm our nerves.
Cause: We get angry because we set our expectations and those are not met.
Cause: We get angry because we think we are right.
Cause: We get angry because we are frustrated with something else and eventually vent our anger on someone else.
Cause: We get angry because we had warned someone that something would happen and it did happen.
Resolutions:
– Try to see the opposing view. Try to be on the other side and then think.
– Try to reason with other person in a calm manner. Make him understand that you understand his point of view and why your view has advantages.
– Dont get into habit of setting expectations too high.
– Understand that things will go wrong in everyday life. Life is not smooth and there will be bumps and unexpected events.
– Try to get rid of the “I will get back at you” feeling. Think of it as “The person displaying the anger actually has a problem which he/she needs to work on.”
Interestingly playing sports in format of team vs team and working in an non-profit organization you come against all kinds of personalities. In the heat of the moment some words may be spoken but often if people are willing to let go of their egos, the situation can be calmly resolved later on….
The first resolution you suggested is also what Jain philosophy calls “Anekantvad”.
This topic reminded me of swadhyay group that meet in the temple every 1,3,5 Sunday in the mornings. They were also discussing on: How we can train ourselves to “observe” and not “react” to any pleasing or non pleasing situations abruptly. Then they talk about meditation to achieve that goal of staying in equilibrium position.
This truely is a philosophical topic and not everyone can put words into writing very well. (including me 🙂 )
Half an hour of Dr. Phil everyday will work as well 😉
“Apna anubhav bolta hai kya?” 😉
Sanjay2 is probably one of the calmer members in KV. (Ameeta can tell us if that is wrong 🙂 ).
Maybe he can reveal what is his secret.
Komal is another tough cookie who is not very easy to anger up. Another one is Sagar Chheda.
Prashant, I think you are also in that category. May be dimple can tell more about it.
Prashant definitely appears to be a cool customer. However, since he is poring over these questions about anger, expectations, frustration, there must be something deep within he is trying to wrestle.
Nothing is as it seems – Dr Phil 🙂
I think i get angry when people make fun of me and when i am very tired. i want to finish too many things in little time
One of the things i often discuss with my friends and manish with regard to this topic is that people who do not verbalize anger does not mean they do not get angry .
In fact they could be more dangerous 😉 since they keep anger pent up.
Now you know why you should not take S2, Komal or me lightly. :-).